FOUR STRAIGHT WOMEN WATCHING GAY PORN
by
Robert Barnett
©
Robert James Barnett
715 Micheltorena
St
Los Angles, CA 90026
(323) 661-5939
CHARACTERS:
BEV the instigator
HOLLY the
commentator
SHERRY the easy
going one
MARIA the
victim
All four WOMEN in the mid-20s to early 30s. They could be almost any race or ethnic
background, through Maria is probably Hispanic.
They all have what are considered “professional” careers. They are also all single. Whether they like it or not.
PIZZA DELIVERY, he delivers
He’s good-looking, well-built in an casual sort of way. Boyish charm that he underplays. Late 20s.
LOCATION:
SHERRY’s condo, Westside,
TIME:
Evening. Now.
Yeah.
AT RISE:
SHERRY’s Westside condo.
Casual, if not inspired, good taste.
Crate & Barrel with Cost Plus touches.
CENTER (with its back to the
AUDIENCE) is Sherry’s
Facing it – and thus facing
the AUDIENCE – is a small over-stuffed sofa with more throw pillows than anyone
would ever need. A coffee table with
cans of soda already popped open.
BEV
is on the phone ordering pizza with HOLLY at her elbow.
MARIA is to one side. Is there something on her mind?
SHERRY is OFF-STAGE preparing
popcorn to accompany the evening’s entertainment.
BEV
(Into
phone)
Yeah. No, no. Just one extra large.
(Hand
over phone)
Will that be enough?
(Calls
off)
Sherry? If I get two
extra large, you want the leftovers?
Maria —?
MARIA
I’m just going to have one or two slices. I’m not all that hungry.
HOLLY
I haven’t eaten since breakfast —
BEV
You’ve got the appetite of a horse. You never show it —!
HOLLY
I do too —!
BEV
If Sherry doesn’t want it, I’ll take it home. I love cold pizza for breakfast! Yum!
(Into
phone)
OK. Make that two
extra large.
BEV
(Continued)
(Hand
over phone)
Maria? What do you
want on it? The pizza? Anything you don’t eat? We usually do one with meat – you know,
sausage and pepperoni an’ mushrooms and another vegetarian.
MARIA
That’s fine. Whatever
you do is fine with me – oh, no onion or anchovy – oh, and light on the green
pepper. I like it but it doesn’t always
like me —
BEV
Got it. Sherry
doesn’t like anchovies and I could care less about green pepper —
(Into
phone)
OK. We’ll go with the
sausage pepperoni mushroom for one —
MARIA
(Timorously
flagging to BEV, half whisper —)
—
light
on the cheese… could I – do you mind if I —
BEV
(Oblivious)
— the other make it
your veggie special, hold the onion, light on green pepper —
(Seeing
MARIA —)
—
wait
wait wait —
(BEV
stops. Waits for MARIA. MARIA suddenly feels
on
the spot…)
MARIA
Ah. I’m – watching my
weight…? So I was thinking – if you
don’t mind – could we – or on one of them – maybe not have as much – you know,
cheese —?
BEV
(Without
a beat, into phone)
Light on cheese on both.
How long? Great!
(Hangs
up)
They’re getting ’em out ASAP. Guess business is slow for a change.
(SHERRY
comes flying in with a big bowl of popcorn)
SHERRY
(Announcing
—)
Popcorn!
Popcorn! Popcorn! What’s a movie without popcorn —!
HOLLY
(Cheering
her on —)
Yeah —! Popcorn —!
(SHERRY,
BEV, and HOLLY start gathering around the
sofa
—)
BEV
Well, I was in a rush tonight, so I just grabbed what looked
good at the video store —
MARIA
(Who
has been holding back —)
Ahm, Bev
—?
(The
OTHERS look up at her…)
MARIA
(Continued)
I think I should be going.
BEV
You just got here!
MARIA
I know… I really appreciate you inviting me along… it’s just
– it’s Friday night and it’s my first Friday night without Richard and I don’t
feel much like being around people —
(Opening
her purse —)
Let me pay for my share of the pizza —
BEV
That’s why I invited you —
HOLLY
Maria, we’ve all been in your shoes. And believe me I know.
BEV
— you've certainly put up with my tales of dating disasters
—
MARIA
I'm just going to bring you down. I thought a real girls' night was just what I
needed but I'll just sit here and sulk and feel blue —
(Including
HOLLY and SHERRY —)
And you're here with your friends and I'd feel
self-conscious and not know whether to be myself or not be myself and I'll just
end up being a pain in the neck for everybody, including myself —
HOLLY
(With
authority)
Maria.
(MARIA
looks at her sheepishly)
HOLLY
(Continued)
I went the whole nine yards.
Wedding ring, walk down the aisle, big reception. My Larry was quite the salesman. He had me sold. Unfortunately he never knew when to stop
selling. And he had buyers all over
town. Shall we say the merchandise was
pretty well pawed over by the time he brought it home? I don't know if it was the marriage or if he
had to constantly prove himself – or if it was me —
SHERRY
— now don't do that to yourself —
BEV
You know better —
HOLLY
See what a trap it is to blame ourselves —? It's the first thing we do…!
MARIA
… all I can think about is Richard. Where is he tonight? I bet he’s already lined up someone to go out
with.
BEV
Men replace. Women
mourn.
MARIA
So I’m mourning.
BEV
That’s why I invited you —!
So you don’t have to – or –
(With
a conspiratorial glance at the other WOMEN)
—
you
get over it quicker —!
(BEV
laughs in a snickering way, joined in by the other TWO)
MARIA
No, really. I’m – I’m
– better off alone tonight. I’ll only
bring the rest of you down. And that’s
no fun.
SHERRY
(Crossing
to MARIA)
Maria… It’s no fun
getting dumped. We’ve all been
there. We’re all going to get dumped
again sometime.
HOLLY
— Assuming we go out enough times to qualify for “being
dumped” as opposed to “no longer returns calls.”
SHERRY
We all have our own ways of coping. Me I'm living for my stock options and
retiring at 45 to some beach town so I can wear funny hats and be considered a
character. I'm going to find myself a
nice rich alcoholic who I can kick out when he gets to be too much of a
handful. Every vacation I check out a
different beach community. Next up is
Bodega Bay – where Hitchcock shot The
Birds? But in the meantime —
(Leads
MARIA over to sofa)
…we’re going to show you how we help one another cope.
(Gently
sitting MARIA down in the middle of them)
So you’re not going to bring us down or bum us out – all you
have to do is sit and watch with us. And
see how you feel.
MARIA
(Not
fully resigned…)
OK…
HOLLY
Great —!
BEV
(Assuming
role of ringleader/master of ceremonies)
Tonight for the benefit of my cubicle partner, Maria Santos,
and in honor of her being unceremoniously dumped, we offer —
MARIA
…he did call to tell me —
BEV
Two days before your Birth-Day
—
MARIA
…well, yeah –
BEV
—
after
you canceled birthday plans with your family – with your brother in from the
Army – so you could be with Richard. Because you were sure – sure! – he was planning a big special surprise. Like maybe popping the question?
MARIA
Well…
BEV
Did he or did he not keep telling you he'd been giving the
two of you a lot of
thought —?
MARIA
…in so many words… yes.
BEV
Instead you got “don’t think it’s working out we shouldn’t
see each other anymore good-bye have a nice life.” Hmm?
MARIA
(Dodging,
trying to shrug it off —)
I guess I shouldn’t have invested so much of myself —
BEV
Oh, please!
(Lifting
TV remote high in the air —)
So in honor of all that, we are offering an evening of
carnal and erotic delights –
MARIA
(Feeling
suddenly caught —)
You said it was a girls’ movie night. I thought we’d be watching Pretty Woman –
BEV
It is a girls’ movie night – our girls’ movie night —! So without much more adieu, the DVDs are
fully loaded and operational for quick change in event of boredom or gross-out
– all thanks to Sherry’s new DVD player with five-disc carousel –
SHERRY
Thank you thank you –
BEV
Ladies, prepare yourselves —! All hands above decks —
(The
THREE WOMEN lift their hands and show them to
one
another as if on cue — )
BEV
(Continued)
— no dildos or vibrators handy —
MARIA
(Now
truly beside herself —)
What are we watching —!
BEV
(…and
with a click of the remote —)
Away we go —!
(There
are muted grunts and groans from the TV)
(The
eyes of all the WOMEN – except for MARIA – are fixed
on
the screen. MARIA is – well, MARIA
doesn’t know what
to
think because MARIA is watching something she never
thought
she would ever see —)
MARIA
(Slowly
regaining the power of speech —)
That… Those – that’s that’s… they’re – those… that – they – those are two guys.
BEV
(Not
really listening —)
Yeah.
MARIA
Doing it. I mean –
one is doing it —…the other’s – getting – done —!
BEV
Fucked is the word.
HOLLY
(Points
at screen —)
That one's got a nice bod. Great abs —
BEV
You think so? I like
the other. Cute butt.
(Admiring
the action —)
Look at 'em go!
SHERRY
(In
the flow —)
The women are so skanky in
straight porn —
HOLLY
—
look
like they’re all strung out on drugs – or boobs out to here —!
SHERRY
(…word
to the wise —)
What men like…
(MARIA
is speechless. Her eyes move from
conversation
to
conversation, trying to sort it out —)
BEV
I hear all the boys in gay porn are like midgets. So their dicks look bigger. And they shave themselves down there so they
stick out more —!
(The
THREE WOMEN giggle conspiratorially)
BEV
(Continued)
(To
MARIA)
Watch this!
BEV
(Continued)
(She
hits fast forward)
When you hit fast forward makes 'em look like Woody
Woodpecker. Only a different kind of
pecker, if you know what I mean.
SHERRY
Rotation call. Keep
it moving. We're on assignment.
BEV
Right.
(BEV
flips to another DVD. Different sounds
from the TV.
New
look of shock and amazement in MARIA’s eyes)
HOLLY
I always think it’s so cute when they kiss. Don’t you?
So romantic.
BEV
Yeah. Before they
stuff their dicks in each other’s mouths.
MARIA
(Shocked
– but afraid of showing it —)
Bev —?
BEV
(Misinterpreting
her tone of voice)
You want me to fast forward an’ see it —?
MARIA
NO! I do not!
BEV
Oh. Well, let me know
if you do. We have just about everything
here. No beastiality
–
(To
no one and everyone in particular —)
Anyone ever see a beastiality
flick —?
(The
GIRLS ad lib agree they haven’t or wouldn’t want to)
BEV
(Continued)
Just checking.
SHERRY
It’s like snuff movies.
You always hear about them —
MARIA
(Too
overwhelmed to follow the conversation —)
You watch those too —?
HOLLY
Are you kidding —?
That’s so sick.
(SHERRY
takes the remote from BEV, tries another DVD)
(It’s
clear from everyone’s expression that they all find it –
well,
not to their taste —)
HOLLY
(Continued)
What is that —?
BEV
(Reaching
for the empty DVD cases, reads title)
Boy Toys
of the Balkans.
HOLLY
Send them some Nair.
Anyone use Nair anymore?
BEV
That or some electrolysis.
Too much hair —!
HOLLY
And some gym memberships…!
(With
remote safely back in her hand, BEV makes another
selection)
BEV
(Continued)
(Announcing
triumphantly)
Group action time —!
(MARIA
can’t believe her eyes…)
BEV
(Continued)
Makes you kinda wonder what they
talk about when they huddle in football.
SHERRY
They slap each other’s butts enough times.
HOLLY
Or why they like to tackle one another so much —!
(They
all laugh at this —…!)
(But
somehow this scene is particularly unnerving to
MARIA
—)
MARIA
Ahh – ah – my cousin’s gay – and
well – I’m sure —
HOLLY
What? He doesn’t get
into gang bangs with the boys?
SHERRY
(Reining
her in —)
Holly —!
HOLLY
(Not
to be corralled so easily —)
Oh, come on —! I was
just —
SHERRY
Shh…
BEV
(Who
has been moving on, switching DVDs)
…remember we are on a mission here… so let’s not lose our
focus…
(BEV
appears to be looking for something in particular –
has
she found it? She stops)
BEV
(Continued)
OK. Maria!
(MARIA
perks up as if being addressed in school)
BEV
(Continued)
Here we have –
(Pauses
long enough to pick up DVD cover and read its title)
Return
of the Rough Riders.
(Reads
small print…with bad western accent)
“Our bad bad boys ride into town
for some real bad-ass, butt-poundin’ action. You’ll want to hightail it into Dodge cuz
it ain’t no six-guns shootin’ off this time – when
our
Rough Riders tangle with Sheriff Hang ‘em High and his posse
of Big Beautiful Big-Dicked Brutes.”
(Uses
remote to direct MARIA’s attention to the screen)
Maria…?
MARIA
(Not
wanting to look…)
Yes…?
BEV
(A
little more forceful in directing MARIA’s gaze)
Maria…
MARIA
(Finally
looking at screen —)
Yes.
BEV
We have our gallery of … gay – strike that – happy!
desperadoes. Which one most closely
resembles Richard?
MARIA
My Richard?
BEV
Your Richard. Your
Richard who dated you for the last ten months.
Exclusively. Your Richard who
kept you waiting at Lord of the Rings
after you got there early to buy the tickets.
So you ended up in the second row staring straight up at the
screen. He offered no apologies. Or paid for his ticket. And left you with eyestrain and a headache. The Richard who bought you flowers – at what?
Von’s? – and left the not-so-little sticker with the
price —
MARIA
It was Albertson’s really.
BEV
It was a super-market. Where they put the flowers between dental
hygiene and produce —!
(Back
on track —)
The Richard who played Mr. Disappearing Act when his parents
were in town, After you graciously
offered to cook them dinner – and he agreed! – only to just disappear! – no
call, no nothing, once they arrived. Then he – pops! – back into the picture once they gone. Explains “Oh, they were just too busy…!”
MARIA
—
it’s
not like we had agreed on what night —
BEV
You talked menus, Maria, menus. He was afraid they'd like you! The Richard who dragged you to more noisy
Sports Bars than you knew existed, only to bore everyone to death with the time
he kicked the deciding field goal for his high school football team.
MARIA
They won their division.
BEV
In 1989 yeah.
(Back
on mission —)
In short, the Richard that treated you like a doormat,
napkin, Kleenex, laundry service, ATM, and all around gofer. And then dumps you. Tell me – yes or no – when you reach back and
lay out your complete relationship history with Richard, do you feel… excuse
the expression… that he… fucked you?
(MARIA
thinks long and hard… then —)
MARIA
Yes.
BEV
Good.
(Pointing
to screen —)
Pick a Richard.
MARIA
Theee – ahh
–
(Points)
That one. The blond
with the grin. Hair in his face.
BEV
OK. Here we go.
(As
she does so…)
We click on our boy… ahh! Sample scenes…! Pick the one we want…!
(Again
does so…)
And what do we have, Maria?
MARIA
He’s… he’s… well… he’s getting – ahm
–
BEV
He’s getting fucked by Sheriff Hang ‘em High! Can you say that, Maria…?
MARIA
(Very
softly…)
He’s getting fucked by Sheriff… Hang ‘em High?
BEV
Good. Now. Maria.
Did Richard – your Richard, our Richard, the Richard –
(Pointing
to screen —)
That Richard – fuck you over?
MARIA
(As
if she were in a court of law)
Yes, he did.
BEV
Does he deserve to get fucked in return?
MARIA
Yes, he does!
BEV
(Pointing
to screen)
Does the punishment fit the crime?
MARIA
(Finally
getting the gist of it…)
Yes… it does!
(BEV
hands MARIA the remote)
BEV
Go to it. You can
speed it up. You can slow it down. You can pump up the volume —
(Pumps
up the volume – We hear “Yeah!
Yeah! Oh yeah!”
grunting
from the screen —)
—
or
you can take it all the way out. He is
yours to do with as you please.
BEV
(Continued)
(Enlisting
HOLLY and SHERRY with her eyes —)
The Sisterhood is standing right behind you.
(MARIA
looks at the remote. Considers her options)
(MARIA
plays with the stop and start. Is
amused. Grins.
Enjoys
the power)
(Now
tries the volume)
TV
“Oh, baby baby – yeah! Ugh!
Ugh! Yeah! Take it like a man —!”
(Maria
decides she doesn’t like that so much.
Shuts
the
volume off)
MARIA
(Almost
to herself —)
Fuck you, Richard… fuck YOU, Richard —! That’s it —!
(Getting
into it —)
That’s it —! That’s
it —! Yeah —!
((Hits
the fast forward again —)
Oh, yeah —! Yeah
—! Give it to him —! Give it to him —! Make him scream —!
(MARIA’s now standing on the sofa, screaming her head
off,
hitting the fast forward button over and over — )
MARIA
(Continued)
Oh, yeah! That’s
it! Go for it! Fuck him gooooood
—! Fuck him harrrrrd! Fuck him looooonnnng
—! Fuck him all the way to China —! Fuck him from here to kingdom come —! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeeahhhh! That’s it —!
That’s it —! That’s – itttttTTTTT —!!!!
(With
a last gasp, MARIA collapses on the sofa spent)
(BEV
takes the remote away from her. Snaps
off picture)
BEV
Better?
MARIA
(Kinda wiped)
Much.
BEV
Feel like running after your Richard?
MARIA
No.
BEV
Wish he would come back?
MARIA
No.
BEV
Feel like mourning his loss?
MARIA
No.
BEV
Why not?
MARIA
(The
voice of a tiger)
Because he fucked me —!
BEV
You’re cured. Time
for pizza!
(Doorbell
rings)
BEV
(Continued)
(Rather
proud of herself —)
Perfect timing —!
SHERRY
(Calls)
Door’s open. Come on
in.
HOLLY
(Collecting
money —)
$10 each. Not you,
Maria —
BEV
We’re treating. Don’t
move. You’re still in recovery.
(By this point, the PIZZA
DELIVERY has entered with
their
two extra large —)
(— PIZZA DELIVERY is a thickish, well-built man in his
late 20’s, with a mop of brown
hair. Although he has a
definite spring to his step,
he does not ooze book-learning)
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(Handing
over pizzas to SHERRY, reading off order —)
Two extra large. One
sausage pepperoni mushroom. Other veggie
special no onion light on green pepper.
Both light on cheese. You also
get free cheese twists. They’re kinda sucky but they’re a
promotion item, so everybody gets ‘em —
(For
some reason, MARIA is staring at PIZZA DELIVERY
with
the most amazed eyes – then looking at the television,
back
and forth as —)
PIZZA
DELIVERY (Continued)
That’ll come to the grand total of $24.98 with tax —…
(HOLLY
pays him —)
MARIA
(Interrupting
—)
You’re —!
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Excuse me?
MARIA
(Finishing
her sentence does not seem an option —)
You’re —!
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Did I forget something —?
There were no drinks on the order —
(Looks
at bill again —)
MARIA
No —! You’re —! You’re —!
(MARIA’s trying to make a connection between PIZZA
DELIVERY
and the television —)
(— but PIZZA DELIVERY has no
idea what she’s trying to
say
or ask —)
(—
he turns to the other THREE WOMEN for help —)
(— but they are loathe to intervene as they are
ALL afraid
where
this is leading —)
(Still
MARIA is not to be deterred. She picks
up the remote
and
is frantically pushing buttons – although her power of
speech
has not necessarily returned —)
MARIA
(Continued)
No —! Wait —! You’re – it’s – I saw you – where’s that – I
know it's here —
(And
she’s found it!)
There —! The bald
one.
(The
OTHER THREE WOMEN look to the screen… squint…
back
to PIZZA DELIVERY… back to the screen… back to
PIZZA
DELIVERY —)
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(Realizing
they are waiting for an answer)
Oh, yeah. The dog
pile. That’s me. On the bottom.
MARIA
(A
moment of true accomplishment)
I was right —! I
recognized you —!
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(A
point of clarification)
I shaved my head for that.
I’m an actor see, so I let my hair grow out for acting jobs. I always shave my head for stuff like
that.
SHERRY
You do a lot of… stuff like that?
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Pays the bills. My
wife books ‘em.
BEV,
HOLLY
Your wife?
PIZZA
DELIVERY
She’s my agent.
(Points
to screen —)
That one paid for our honeymoon.
BEV
Welcome to Hollywood.
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Hey, you in the Industry?
BEV
Depends on which Industry –
(Short-circuits
that discussion —)
No. I’m not in the
motion picture industry. Nor – adult
entertainment.
PIZZA
DELIVERY
I meant the movie business.
See I go by Hank Hardner for this sort of
stuff. The porno stuff. But I’m registered with the unions as Clay
Harris. But my real name is Luigi Francosi. I’m
Italian but I don’t look Italian, so my agent said, don’t go with an Italian
name cuz they’ll only wanna
look at you for Mafia or heavies and I won’t get cast. So that’s why I’m Clay Harris. Only like I sometimes do non-union, like
independent or student gigs? Money sucks
but I get to practice my craft – an’ I use Lou Francosi. Hey, I’m an actor. I like to act! So some people know me as Lou, others know me
as Clay, and still others think I’m Hank —!
MARIA
(Still
trying to sort it all out – pointing at screen)
But – but – but – you’re not gay? I mean – what’s that?
BEV
(Dryly)
He’s an actor, remember?
He likes – acting —
MARIA
(Not
to be dismissed —)
Shhh —! Let him answer —!
(PIZZA
DELIVERY squints at screen, realizes he needs
to
come up with an answer)
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(Success)
That’s a job. Yeah,
it’s acting but it’s also not acting.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s a
director and a camera and lights and it’s a real set an’ all. Pays better than the straight stuff. Better work environment. A lot of laughs.
(Points
to another in video)
Now he’s… — what’s it’s called? – he’s studying Chinese
medicine. Acupuncture. He has really nice hands, so he’ll do really
good in that, once he’s finished and licensed by
the state.
(And
another —)
And… that one – see him?
He’s pro. He’s got so many
pictures to his name. All goes up his
nose. Sad. All he does is work out, do porn, and do drugs.
(…and
another…)
And that other guy?
He’s just a kid – real pain in the ass to work with – I mean in the
professional sense. Always grabbin’ you, thinkin’ it’s cute,
sayin’ we gotta
rehearse. Hate that stuff.
MARIA
(Still
a little behind…)
Your… wife…?
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Yeah. She’s my
agent. Handles the contracts, cuts the
deal, always on the set —
MARIA
Is on the set —!
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Oh, yeah. She does a
condom check before each scene. Oh, an’
in case they ask me to do something I wasn’t contracted for? They got a cost breakdown for
everything. If she wasn’t there, they’d
probably try to sweet talk me into do somethin’ I
wouldn’t get paid for. She carries
around a stopwatch. If a blowjob runs a
second over, she makes sure I get paid overtime —!
BEV
Wonderful! You two
must have a very special relationship.
PIZZA
DELIVERY
She watches my back.
(This
with almost testifying fervor)
I am devoted to that woman —! I would walk across hot coals for that woman
—!
(More
casual)
Why do you think I’m delivering pizza?
BEV
Now that you ask – why are you delivering pizza?
PIZZA
DELIVERY
Savin’ up for our first house! Mind you, we already own a condo out in the
Valley. But it’s Van Nuys and well –
…it’s not the best area. Naw… we’re saving for a real house with a real yard in
Studio City. So Melanie – that’s my
wife! – so Melanie can have a dog. She
wants a cocker spaniel. You don’t want
to have a dog cooped up inside all day.
That's why we want a yard.
BEV
Oh, no. No, you
wouldn’t want to do that. No, no, no –
not to a dear little cocker spaniel you wouldn’t…!
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(Glancing
at his watch)
Hey, look, ahh – nice talkin’ to you folks but I got a couple more deliveries and
the pizzas get kinda cold kinda
fast. Ah – I got a couple more of my
videos – these kinds – and others – like a horror straight-to-video, I play a wolfman come back to life, only he never was dead
really. They’re in the car. I kinda hand ‘em
out like promotions —! You never know
who you gonna meet —
BEV
No, that’s all right.
We’ve seen enough.
(Holds
up the bag —)
We have the cheese twists —!
(PIZZA
DELIVERY is not sure what she is referring to —)
BEV
(Continued)
(Spelling
it out…)
Promotion…? We
already got one promotion, we don’t need two…?
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(Realizes
it’s a joke —)
Oh, yeah! Ha!
Ha! Well. Gotta run. Enjoy the pizza —!
BEV
Thanks.
(And
he bounds out the door as he came in)
(Pause. Who knows what to say?)
BEV
(Continued)
Pizza, anyone?
HOLLY
I think my stomach’s off pizza for the moment. I feel like I want to purge.
BEV
Well, he’s obviously devoted to his wife.
HOLLY
I think she’s just using him if you ask me.
SHERRY
I find it quite touching.
How many men do you know get fucked for their wives?
HOLLY
Larry said that’s what happened to him everyday he went to
work. This guy he just does it – well,
more publicly. He doesn’t seem terribly
bright. He’s lucky he has her.
MARIA
She’s lucky to have him.
HOLLY
They’re lucky to have each other.
MARIA
(Looking
at TV screen)
I think he's kinda cute. I'd marry him.
(The
other THREE WOMEN look at her in surprise and
a
little mystification)
(MARIA
just looks back. She's not budging)
(She
picks up the remote and pushes a couple of buttons)
PIZZA
DELIVERY
(From
TV)
“Oh, yeah! That’s
good —! That's soooo
– good!"
(She
clicks it off)
BEV
Anyone got Pretty
Woman on DVD?
(BLACKOUT)